How Can You Include Your Dad in Social Gatherings When He’s Extremely Shy?

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Social anxiety disorder is a real condition where a person becomes anxious in social situations. It stems from a phobia of doing something that’s humiliating or embarrassing. Shyness is different. Shyness doesn’t have the same level of fear and avoidance. Shyness doesn’t keep you from being able to function, but it can make it very difficult.

Whether your dad has social anxiety disorder or is just extremely shy, it can make it very hard for him to participate in social activities.

Senior Care Schnecksville PA - How Can You Include Your Dad in Social Gatherings When He's Extremely Shy?

Senior Care Schnecksville PA – How Can You Include Your Dad in Social Gatherings When He’s Extremely Shy?

There are things you can do to help.

Could It Be Social Anxiety Disorder?

Read these three statements from the Mini-SPIN (Social Phobia Inventory) and have your dad give each one a rate of 0 to 4 with 4 being “extremely likely” and 0 being “never.”

1. I avoid activities where I am the primary focus of other’s attention.
2. I am terrified that others will see my embarrassment or think I look/act ridiculous.
3. Those fears keep me from wanting to talk to or do things for/with others.

If your dad gets a 6 or higher on this test, it’s likely he has social anxiety disorder. If that’s the case, take him to see his doctor and ask for a referral to a specialist who deals in anxiety. Therapy can help him overcome some of his fears.

What if He’s Just Shy?

If it is extreme shyness, don’t push too hard. You don’t want him to shut down and refuse to do anything. Instead of forcing him to attend a large event where he won’t know everyone, hold a family reunion where he knows people. Help him gain confidence as he socializes with your cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandchildren.

Support Him

Don’t leave your dad alone at a social gathering. Be there for him to lean on. If you need to step away for a minute, have a sibling or other close family member take your place while you’re doing whatever is needed.

While you’re there for him, pay attention to his signals. If he seems to be getting nervous or anxious, leave the room or building. Take him outside or to a quieter place to collect himself. If he says he really needs to go home, don’t force him to stay. Have someone take him home if you can’t.

Start Small

Don’t force your dad into a large social gathering. Start small. If you don’t have enough time, bring a senior care aide into his life. In addition to helping him around the home, the caregiver can take your dad on short outings into the public.

He could start by attending a fitness class at a senior center to boost his confidence and go from there. Verify that the class only has a few people that tend to show up. The senior care aide is there for companionship and support as he gets used to attending gatherings. Call to learn more about our senior care providers.


If you or a loved one are in need of Senior Care Services in Schnecksville PA or the surrounding areas, contact the caring professionals at Extended Family Care of Allentown. Call today at (610) 200-6097.
About the author: Carole Chiego
Carole Chiego became a member of the Extended Family Care team in January, 2008. Prior to her role as the Administrator of the Allentown office, she was the Area Director of Operations for a home care company in East Orange, New Jersey. Carole’s extensive experience in home care spans over 17 years. Her work ethic and desire to succeed in the industry are evident in her advancement within the field ranging from Scheduling Coordinator to Medical Records Coordinator to Branch Manager and finally to Administrator and Area Director. She believes assuming these roles has made her a more effective manager. Carole gained most of her formal managerial training by attending Pennsylvania State University in pursuit of her degree in Health Policy and Administration. She attributes her informal training to have been acquired on a more personal level. Carole understands first-hand what families may experience when allowing a home care provider access to their home while providing care to their loved one. She was a caregiver for two of her grandparents until their passing and believes in the importance of allowing family members the opportunity to remain in the comfort of home if they so desire. Carole is also the mother of a child with multiple medical conditions who requires nursing services in the home. It is because of her personal experiences that Carole understands first-hand how important it is to manage a quality, high-integrity home care agency in which clients and families can place their trust and be confident they are receiving the best care possible. Carole also believes in the importance of giving back to the community. Therefore, she volunteers and spear-heads fundraising activities for a variety of charitable and professional organizations, namely the Pennsylvania Home Care Association, Autism Speaks and Avengers Baseball, Inc. Carole, a resident of Lehigh County, is married and has 2 children. In her free time, she is the “team mom” for her son’s tournament baseball team, enjoys cooking, spending time with her family and friends, and is an avid NY Giants, NY Yankees and Penn State football fan. Carol is a verified Google Author